The House Witch
“The House Witch: A Humorous Romantic Fantasy,” The House Witch Series, Book 1, by Delemhach
Format: Audiobook, 17 h 4 m
How I discovered this book: Recommended by my neurologist (seriously)
Opening line: “The loyal citizens of the kingdom of Daxaria described their homeland as a lovable mess.”
My rating: 2.5 out of 5
Cat Quotient: 3 paws (at least one worthy cat)
“You talk to that animal as though it understands.”
“Animals understand more than you think. Especially cats..”
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“Kraken’s claws extended ... and grazed his skin slowly, in a gentle, loving threat.”
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“He’s a cat. You really think I can make him do anything?”
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“You talk to that animal as though it understands.” “Animals understand more than you think. Especially cats..” 〰️ “Kraken’s claws extended ... and grazed his skin slowly, in a gentle, loving threat.” 〰️ “He’s a cat. You really think I can make him do anything?” 〰️
Synopsis: Finlay Ashowan is a “deficient witch” whose only power seems to be protecting his home. But when he joins the staff of the Daxarian royal palace as cook, his home—and powers—expand proportionately. At first he tries to keep his powers a secret, but despite himself, he finds himself adding people to his inner circle, including a trio of rowdy knights, the King and Queen themselves, a black fluffy kitten named Kraken, who turns out to be his familiar, and a spying viscountess whose presence complicates everything. When war threatens the kingdom and his past comes back to haunt him, Fin—who spends most of his time taking care of others—has to decide what he’s willing to risk for his own happiness.
Highlights: Queer-friendly characters despite being set in a traditional fantasy kingdom; a snarky spying cat; a male main character who cooks like a dream; and a female protagonist of exceptional intelligence, character, and ability.
It might be less than perfect because: At 17 hours, this is a long book. Copious detailed descriptions of food add to the length, and might make this book challenging for anyone on a restricted diet. Its homey pace might frustrate readers who crave more action or unlimited cookies. Their loss.
Nit-picks: The author has a tendency to describe people by their hair. “The red-headed cook.” “The black-haired beauty.”
My review: Listening to this audiobook, recorded by Matthew Wolf, is a delight. Although it is clearly labeled a “romance”, it is the kind of romance you can listen to without having to worry who else can overhear. That is to say, there is lots of romantic tension but nothing more steamy than a kiss makes it to the “page” (although there’s plenty of room for your imagination to fill in the missing details). There is definitely an overarching plot, romantic and otherwise, along with tensions that threaten the whole kingdom, but every scene where Fin is in his kitchen, doing what he loves best, is literally food for my soul. All I wanted was to sink into this book and pull up a fuzzy blanket, a purring cat, a cup of coffee, a plate of brownies, and wallow in its warm heart for days.
Common complaints on Goodreads: “Too long”, “poor prose”, “no plot”, “weak romance”, “unlikable characters”. There’s probably truth to all of these. Certainly, if one adjusts expectations and takes the book as advertised—“a humorous romantic fantasy”—it will be a more enjoyable read. I suspect that listening to the book instead of reading it is a different experience, possibly an improved one.
Main thing to know going in: The book does not resolve much, if anything. The story picks up where it left off in Book 2.
Spy cats review “The House Witch”:
By: Lester, Pfizz, Cleo and Timber
“A little bit of spying revealed that the author may in fact be a covert animal handler herself: When Delemach isn’t following the whims of her unfortunately intelligent cats, Kraken and Pina Colada, they are teaching music privately to their students.” —Lester, with annotations
“Why does Kraken sound like a sarcastic donkey?” — Pfizz, who has watched Shrek too many times
“More cat, less cook. Also, Kraken’s a smart kitten. He should know better not to poop in the king’s shoes.” — Cleo
“I slept through most of it. As far as I can tell, the best thing about this book is that there are no dogs! Not one!” — Timber